and my heart is no exception. These secrets are leading me to do some crazy things these days. I have not changed, but I am making some changes that a younger, less-wise Tracey would not make. In the past few weeks, I have done two things I said I would never do. Neither thing was bad, just things that a younger version of myself would never have dreamed of doing. However, despite these facts, I am pleased with my decisions. For the first time, in a long time, I am following my dreams and hopes of a better future. I am choosing to be patient and ride out the storm to go for what I want.
This line from a song has been in my mind lately, "Take a chance and don't ever look back." It shows that I am taking risks and praying that they play out the way I want, or the way God deems best, in the end. :) Here's to happy hoping.
My "heart is a deep ocean of secrets" that are leading me to "take a chance and [never] look back."
-Tracey
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Spring Break is such a tease!
So, after an incredible week of relaxing for the first time in over a year, it's back to school and work. Spring Break was such a tease about the joys summer will bring into my life. :) After this week, I feel refreshed, rejuvenated and re-inspired with a new sense of happiness that I haven't felt since the end of last summer. To say I've had a rough year is quite the understatement. I won't divulge, for once, in writing about my frustrations and tribulations, but I know the Lord has a plan and this is just another part of that plan. I feel assured that He will guide me where I am supposed to go and will make this year of struggle worth it in the end.
I have realized, once again, that I have so much to be thankful for and so many great things ahead of me. Last week, the greatest thing to ever happen in my short life happened. I received my official letter of acceptance into the PhD program, the one thing I have worked for my entire life. I knew the letter would eventually come, but I was surprised at the overwhelming feelings of emotion I felt as I read and reread that letter. I'll be honest, there were some happy tears followed by lots of phone calls and text messages. It was the validation that I am doing exactly what I was created to do and that all my hard work and years of sacrifice have paid off. The countless hours of studying and choosing to work and write papers rather than play and have fun have been worth it. :) I am so excited to begin my studies (or continue, actually) in the Fall. It's going to be an exciting ride.
Besides this wonderful occurrence, I have continued to build new friendships over the break and had the opportunity to deepen and build upon old friendships. I was reunited with my love of reading (not teen literature and not journal articles), and I got to spend hours at my parents' house riding the four-wheeler around our property. Multiple walks per day were taken with Jack and I really had a chance to work on his training for the first time in a while.
Now, more than ever, I am ready for summertime and the joys it will bring. I have yet to decide if I will take classes this summer or allow myself to enjoy my first summer off. My mom and I are planning a trip to New York City (a dream come true, again), so planning for that is occupying much of my free time now. Like I said, I have a lot to be thankful for and to look forward to. Until summer, here's praying for patience and strength to make it through the last few months of this semester.
Master's Graduation: 54 days
Summer Vacation Begins: 75 days
Trip to NYC: 90 days
-Tracey :)
I have realized, once again, that I have so much to be thankful for and so many great things ahead of me. Last week, the greatest thing to ever happen in my short life happened. I received my official letter of acceptance into the PhD program, the one thing I have worked for my entire life. I knew the letter would eventually come, but I was surprised at the overwhelming feelings of emotion I felt as I read and reread that letter. I'll be honest, there were some happy tears followed by lots of phone calls and text messages. It was the validation that I am doing exactly what I was created to do and that all my hard work and years of sacrifice have paid off. The countless hours of studying and choosing to work and write papers rather than play and have fun have been worth it. :) I am so excited to begin my studies (or continue, actually) in the Fall. It's going to be an exciting ride.
Besides this wonderful occurrence, I have continued to build new friendships over the break and had the opportunity to deepen and build upon old friendships. I was reunited with my love of reading (not teen literature and not journal articles), and I got to spend hours at my parents' house riding the four-wheeler around our property. Multiple walks per day were taken with Jack and I really had a chance to work on his training for the first time in a while.
Now, more than ever, I am ready for summertime and the joys it will bring. I have yet to decide if I will take classes this summer or allow myself to enjoy my first summer off. My mom and I are planning a trip to New York City (a dream come true, again), so planning for that is occupying much of my free time now. Like I said, I have a lot to be thankful for and to look forward to. Until summer, here's praying for patience and strength to make it through the last few months of this semester.
Master's Graduation: 54 days
Summer Vacation Begins: 75 days
Trip to NYC: 90 days
-Tracey :)
Friday, March 18, 2011
Thinking Ahead
I have had the most incredible Spring Break. :) I can't explain the feeling of being rejuvenated, refreshed and re-inspired that I am feeling towards the end of this break. Now, I can't completely explain where this feeling is coming from. Maybe it was the time away from work, maybe it was spending time with family and friends, maybe it was having extra time to enjoy my favorite things. Anyway, whatever the reason, I am truly grateful to be feeling so happy again. It has been far too long since I've felt so good. :)
That being said, while I am feeling this incredible, I am also somewhat bored. Anyone who knows me can testify that I can do everything...except relax. When I stop and relax, I think and think and think...usually getting me into some kind of trouble. It is a well-known fact that I tend to think too much and over-analyze everything. So, at the end of this break, I have been thinking about life. What do I hope to accomplish in the next 5 years? Where will I be? Who will be with me?
Here are the answers I have come up with:
1. I WILL be finished with school. Graduated. Done. As far as I can see, I'm 3 years away.
2. I have NO clue where I will be living.
3. I have NO clue who will be with me.
4. I'd love to be married or have a family by then, but at this rate, I'm batting zero.
5. I don't have many answers...
The control-freak inside of me wants to be worried about the fact that I don't know much about what the next 5 years hold for my life except that they include finishing the very long journey of school. However, a new-found peace-maker side of me says "It's ok. Trust God." So, that is what I am trying my best to do. Amongst the changes of life, I am trying to stay calm. I am watching friends have babies, get married, move away, pursue new jobs, etc...yet I am staying right where I am, working and learning, and loving most of it.
For the number one on my list, school, I know that I have the ambition and drive to make it happen, while God has placed every possible resource at my fingertips to ensure that I am successful. As far as where I will be living, God hasn't let me down yet in providing for me a place to live. I have no doubts that He will continue to do this in the future, no matter where I am. He will lead me to wherever I am needed to live His calling. When it comes to who will be with me, God has placed incredible people in my life and brings new people into my life all the time. I have never once been without friends, family, mentors and people who care about me. I know He will continue to bring special people into my life to help me along my journey. Finally, when it comes to marriage and children. Besides being a great teacher and making changes in the public education system, it is my greatest ambition to be a mother. I get to play the "mom" role in my group of friends and try to take care of people as well as I can, plus I have my little puppy to take care of. For now, this will have to do. When the moment is right, God will introduce me to the man He created just for me, then I'll have the opportunity to be a mother. I have no doubts.
I'm not sure if it is part of growing up, or something inside of me changing, but I have felt a renewed sense of peace in my heart. I don't worry about things nearly as much as I used to and I feel very at ease with people around me. I feel myself becoming more trusting, not only in the Lord but in mankind as a whole. I'm going to give the credit for this to "growing up". :)
Here's to a hopeful future.
-Tracey
That being said, while I am feeling this incredible, I am also somewhat bored. Anyone who knows me can testify that I can do everything...except relax. When I stop and relax, I think and think and think...usually getting me into some kind of trouble. It is a well-known fact that I tend to think too much and over-analyze everything. So, at the end of this break, I have been thinking about life. What do I hope to accomplish in the next 5 years? Where will I be? Who will be with me?
Here are the answers I have come up with:
1. I WILL be finished with school. Graduated. Done. As far as I can see, I'm 3 years away.
2. I have NO clue where I will be living.
3. I have NO clue who will be with me.
4. I'd love to be married or have a family by then, but at this rate, I'm batting zero.
5. I don't have many answers...
The control-freak inside of me wants to be worried about the fact that I don't know much about what the next 5 years hold for my life except that they include finishing the very long journey of school. However, a new-found peace-maker side of me says "It's ok. Trust God." So, that is what I am trying my best to do. Amongst the changes of life, I am trying to stay calm. I am watching friends have babies, get married, move away, pursue new jobs, etc...yet I am staying right where I am, working and learning, and loving most of it.
For the number one on my list, school, I know that I have the ambition and drive to make it happen, while God has placed every possible resource at my fingertips to ensure that I am successful. As far as where I will be living, God hasn't let me down yet in providing for me a place to live. I have no doubts that He will continue to do this in the future, no matter where I am. He will lead me to wherever I am needed to live His calling. When it comes to who will be with me, God has placed incredible people in my life and brings new people into my life all the time. I have never once been without friends, family, mentors and people who care about me. I know He will continue to bring special people into my life to help me along my journey. Finally, when it comes to marriage and children. Besides being a great teacher and making changes in the public education system, it is my greatest ambition to be a mother. I get to play the "mom" role in my group of friends and try to take care of people as well as I can, plus I have my little puppy to take care of. For now, this will have to do. When the moment is right, God will introduce me to the man He created just for me, then I'll have the opportunity to be a mother. I have no doubts.
I'm not sure if it is part of growing up, or something inside of me changing, but I have felt a renewed sense of peace in my heart. I don't worry about things nearly as much as I used to and I feel very at ease with people around me. I feel myself becoming more trusting, not only in the Lord but in mankind as a whole. I'm going to give the credit for this to "growing up". :)
Here's to a hopeful future.
-Tracey
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Inspiration in a Pessimistic World
Today, I got the opportunity to watch some good, quality television. I feel like I have to add the "good, quality" comment because honestly, I find much of what I watch on television to be uninspiring and cynical. Let me begin...
My favorite show, up until this semester, has been Glee. I first fell in love with it when the pilot episode included a stunning performance of my all time favorite song "Don't Stop Believin'". The finale of that season included a Journey medley that had my heart dancing. I fell in love with some great characters and good, wholesome comedy with a few crude comments in between. It seemed that Glee was made just for me and someone had somehow tapped into my brain to combine all things Tracey into one show. Now, I did say it was my favorite up until this semester. This semester, I feel like they have completely redefined and changed many of the characters. Additionally, the plot has begun introducing some heavy topic, in not so quite a classy way. Glee was good at dealing with tough issues before and in a tasteful manner, but now, they've fallen off the boat. I have begun wondering if the show hired new writers who hadn't watched the show before. A few weeks ago the show was all about drinking and the characters spent most of the show being drunk. This past week, the show was all about sex, of every kind, and the characters spent the majority of the show being obsessed with sex.
These new developments on a show that I truly enjoyed have left me saddened at the future of television. It's hard to find decent shows on TV that aren't plagued by drugs, sex, violence, etc. These topics permeate Primetime television. In addition, the news is not exactly known for it's optimism of the world. Many news broadcasts show the same kinds of things further adding to the pessimism of modern society.
However, today, I finally had time to watch shows I've recorded on my DVR and was pleasantly surprised, touched and emotionally moved by a show I randomly decided to record: The Secret Millionaire. Never have I been so touched by reality TV. I spent most of the show crying my eyes out, laughing and praising God for bringing this into my home. See, I am passionate about giving back to the community and have spent many years of my life participating in community service and watching how it helps people in need. I am surrounded on a daily basis by people living in poverty who deserve to have community members supporting and helping them. This is the reason this show hit home so hard for me. This show documents a millionaire who lives for one week in a poverty-ridden area while trying to discover what kinds of people are doing good in the community. At the end of that show, the millionaire gives deserving people and organizations money to help further their causes. On this particular episode, the millionaire gave money to a music organization that gives free music lessons to children, a soup kitchen that serves over 2000 meals a week, an organization that remodels bedrooms for terminally ill children and a family with a five-year-old daughter suffering from leukemia. I was so touched by the show and absolutely loved seeing Primetime TV show positive, good things that are happening in our world.
Today, I have been reminded of how potent God is in society. Despite the pessimism and suffering that happen in our world and are most often the focus of our lives, God is among us and is doing great things. I praise Him for that reminder. As always, when I am in doubt, He delivers my answers. I'm truly blessed to be able to have the luxury and privilege of discovering this truth daily. :)
God has proven to give me answers to questions in many other ways this week by bringing new friendships, opportunities and examples of His grace and mercy to the forefront of my mind. Why He spends so much time and effort on me is incomprehensible to me, but I am forever thankful and will live to glorify Him.
Philippians 4:6-7
-Tracey
My favorite show, up until this semester, has been Glee. I first fell in love with it when the pilot episode included a stunning performance of my all time favorite song "Don't Stop Believin'". The finale of that season included a Journey medley that had my heart dancing. I fell in love with some great characters and good, wholesome comedy with a few crude comments in between. It seemed that Glee was made just for me and someone had somehow tapped into my brain to combine all things Tracey into one show. Now, I did say it was my favorite up until this semester. This semester, I feel like they have completely redefined and changed many of the characters. Additionally, the plot has begun introducing some heavy topic, in not so quite a classy way. Glee was good at dealing with tough issues before and in a tasteful manner, but now, they've fallen off the boat. I have begun wondering if the show hired new writers who hadn't watched the show before. A few weeks ago the show was all about drinking and the characters spent most of the show being drunk. This past week, the show was all about sex, of every kind, and the characters spent the majority of the show being obsessed with sex.
These new developments on a show that I truly enjoyed have left me saddened at the future of television. It's hard to find decent shows on TV that aren't plagued by drugs, sex, violence, etc. These topics permeate Primetime television. In addition, the news is not exactly known for it's optimism of the world. Many news broadcasts show the same kinds of things further adding to the pessimism of modern society.
However, today, I finally had time to watch shows I've recorded on my DVR and was pleasantly surprised, touched and emotionally moved by a show I randomly decided to record: The Secret Millionaire. Never have I been so touched by reality TV. I spent most of the show crying my eyes out, laughing and praising God for bringing this into my home. See, I am passionate about giving back to the community and have spent many years of my life participating in community service and watching how it helps people in need. I am surrounded on a daily basis by people living in poverty who deserve to have community members supporting and helping them. This is the reason this show hit home so hard for me. This show documents a millionaire who lives for one week in a poverty-ridden area while trying to discover what kinds of people are doing good in the community. At the end of that show, the millionaire gives deserving people and organizations money to help further their causes. On this particular episode, the millionaire gave money to a music organization that gives free music lessons to children, a soup kitchen that serves over 2000 meals a week, an organization that remodels bedrooms for terminally ill children and a family with a five-year-old daughter suffering from leukemia. I was so touched by the show and absolutely loved seeing Primetime TV show positive, good things that are happening in our world.
Today, I have been reminded of how potent God is in society. Despite the pessimism and suffering that happen in our world and are most often the focus of our lives, God is among us and is doing great things. I praise Him for that reminder. As always, when I am in doubt, He delivers my answers. I'm truly blessed to be able to have the luxury and privilege of discovering this truth daily. :)
God has proven to give me answers to questions in many other ways this week by bringing new friendships, opportunities and examples of His grace and mercy to the forefront of my mind. Why He spends so much time and effort on me is incomprehensible to me, but I am forever thankful and will live to glorify Him.
Philippians 4:6-7
-Tracey
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Choices
Every morning, I wake up and have a choice to make. I can choose to be stressed about work, unhappy about that stress and moody with my friends and family, or I can choose to put a smile on my face, rest assured that God will take care of all my problems and enjoy the day. Time for a confession: lately, I have not been doing the latter of these two options. Instead, I have been selfish, and somewhat bratty, to the people I love. Sure, I'm stressed. Sure, there isn't much I can do to change it. Oh, except there is. There are many things I can do to change my stress and attitude.
1. Above all else, KNOW and TRUST that God has my back. He has never failed me, in my most cherished times and my lowest points, so why do I doubt that he has me now? He is there for me and has a plan for everything. If I am feeling stressed or beaten down by things, it is because I am not allowing Him to be in control. This is my eternal fault. I am a control-freak and think my ideas and plans are better than the plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11). My goal for the next few weeks, and beyond, is to really focus on letting Him take the lead. Every time I feel stressed or overwhelmed, I want to stop and focus on Him and put things into His hands. It will be much easier on me and will lead to better outcomes.
2. Secondly, I can choose to wake up each morning and be happy. Even if things aren't EXACTLY the way I want them to be, I have more than I deserve and should be over-the-moon excited about those blessings each and every day. As a reminder to myself, I'm going to list the reasons why I should be grateful and joyous every day instead of moody and pouty.
A. Family and friends who love and support me
B. A job that keeps me out of financial stress
C. A job that affects the lives of others in a positive way
D. Co-workers who go out of their way to support and help me grow as a teacher
E. The ability to pursue a higher education
F. Mentors and classmates who go above and beyond to make sure I accomplish my goals
G. A puppy to play with, train and snuggle with after rough days
H. Free time to enjoy all forms of entertainment (reading, sports, Wii, movies, etc.)
I. A home to keep me sheltered
J. Food anytime I want
K. Savings to fall back on
L. A Lord that blesses me with more than I could ever deserve
M. I'm going to stop there, but I could continue...
All in all, I have acted selfishly and taken my stress out on those I love and care about most when all they have tried to do is be there for me. This serves as an apology coupled with a realization that I must actively make the choice every day to be happy, successful and stress-free. "If you want to be happy, be." I do and I will.
-Tracey
1. Above all else, KNOW and TRUST that God has my back. He has never failed me, in my most cherished times and my lowest points, so why do I doubt that he has me now? He is there for me and has a plan for everything. If I am feeling stressed or beaten down by things, it is because I am not allowing Him to be in control. This is my eternal fault. I am a control-freak and think my ideas and plans are better than the plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11). My goal for the next few weeks, and beyond, is to really focus on letting Him take the lead. Every time I feel stressed or overwhelmed, I want to stop and focus on Him and put things into His hands. It will be much easier on me and will lead to better outcomes.
2. Secondly, I can choose to wake up each morning and be happy. Even if things aren't EXACTLY the way I want them to be, I have more than I deserve and should be over-the-moon excited about those blessings each and every day. As a reminder to myself, I'm going to list the reasons why I should be grateful and joyous every day instead of moody and pouty.
A. Family and friends who love and support me
B. A job that keeps me out of financial stress
C. A job that affects the lives of others in a positive way
D. Co-workers who go out of their way to support and help me grow as a teacher
E. The ability to pursue a higher education
F. Mentors and classmates who go above and beyond to make sure I accomplish my goals
G. A puppy to play with, train and snuggle with after rough days
H. Free time to enjoy all forms of entertainment (reading, sports, Wii, movies, etc.)
I. A home to keep me sheltered
J. Food anytime I want
K. Savings to fall back on
L. A Lord that blesses me with more than I could ever deserve
M. I'm going to stop there, but I could continue...
All in all, I have acted selfishly and taken my stress out on those I love and care about most when all they have tried to do is be there for me. This serves as an apology coupled with a realization that I must actively make the choice every day to be happy, successful and stress-free. "If you want to be happy, be." I do and I will.
-Tracey
Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Realization: A Perpetual Broken Heart
In the past few weeks, a realization has blossomed in my mind. I want to preface this by saying that this is not intended to be a pity-party sounding post but more of a stream of consciousness on a topic close to my heart. Additionally, I must give some background information for this realization to make sense to the outside on-looker.
First of all, when I was a little girl, I used to imagine what I would be like as an adult and what my love life would be like. I used to imagine that I would have three or four boyfriends then meet "the one", fall in love and get married. Now, I completely believe I am too young to get married, but that doesn't mean I don't think about what it might be like. Furthermore, I work all day, then go to class at night and when I come home, I wish someone were there to take care of me.
Now, my realization is that I will not be getting married for a very long time. I feel like if I were more normal, and not such a workaholic, this might be different. Unlike the dreams of when I was a little girl, I have not had three or four boyfriends. I've had more like eight or nine...I'm quickly approaching double digits. Definitely not what I expected. While each relationship has been unique and has taught me different things, each has also been disappointing. Ask any of the guys I've dated, and I'm fairly certain they will tell you what they told me, the same classic lines..."you're incredible", "I can't keep up", "you deserve a man who is as driven as you"...yadda yadda ya. Sure, I believe these things, but I'm also disappointed when I hear things like this.
I digress...back to it. I believe if I did not have such a deep-rooted passion for education and education reform, I would easily find a husband. However, that is not the case. I plan to get a PhD in the next few years, then spend years doing research and finally go into politics so I really can be part of education reform. Despite these wonderful ambitions, I have yet to find a man that supports me in these endeavors. Moreover, I will graduate in 2014 and have no idea where I will end up. I also have yet to find a man that is ok with this arrangement. Unfortunately, what I have found is that we still live in a society where the woman is expected to follow the man around but when asked to reverse the roles, it is not accepted.
Therefore, this brings me back to my original statement, I will not be getting married for a very long time, if ever. I completely feel like I have to choose: achieving my goals or having a husband and children. At least I have Jack. :)
Let's just say, I'm unconventional.
Tracey
First of all, when I was a little girl, I used to imagine what I would be like as an adult and what my love life would be like. I used to imagine that I would have three or four boyfriends then meet "the one", fall in love and get married. Now, I completely believe I am too young to get married, but that doesn't mean I don't think about what it might be like. Furthermore, I work all day, then go to class at night and when I come home, I wish someone were there to take care of me.
Now, my realization is that I will not be getting married for a very long time. I feel like if I were more normal, and not such a workaholic, this might be different. Unlike the dreams of when I was a little girl, I have not had three or four boyfriends. I've had more like eight or nine...I'm quickly approaching double digits. Definitely not what I expected. While each relationship has been unique and has taught me different things, each has also been disappointing. Ask any of the guys I've dated, and I'm fairly certain they will tell you what they told me, the same classic lines..."you're incredible", "I can't keep up", "you deserve a man who is as driven as you"...yadda yadda ya. Sure, I believe these things, but I'm also disappointed when I hear things like this.
I digress...back to it. I believe if I did not have such a deep-rooted passion for education and education reform, I would easily find a husband. However, that is not the case. I plan to get a PhD in the next few years, then spend years doing research and finally go into politics so I really can be part of education reform. Despite these wonderful ambitions, I have yet to find a man that supports me in these endeavors. Moreover, I will graduate in 2014 and have no idea where I will end up. I also have yet to find a man that is ok with this arrangement. Unfortunately, what I have found is that we still live in a society where the woman is expected to follow the man around but when asked to reverse the roles, it is not accepted.
Therefore, this brings me back to my original statement, I will not be getting married for a very long time, if ever. I completely feel like I have to choose: achieving my goals or having a husband and children. At least I have Jack. :)
Let's just say, I'm unconventional.
Tracey
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Treading Water
All throughout this school year, I have used the term "drowning" to describe how I feel. For the first time, and arguably the busiest time in the year, I feel like I am treading water. This by no means implies that things have gotten easier or slowed down; however, it does mean, I am exhausted but working hard and keeping myself afloat.
My students (and myself) are officially less than a week away from their big test. I am not nearly as freaked out as I was this time last week, last month or last semester. I still feel nervous, but I am hopeful that I have prepared my students to the best of my ability and they will do great things when the time comes. No matter what, I have done what I can. Now, it's up to them. :)
As far as grad school is concerned, I have my final exams for my master's in a few weeks and have been trying to prepare for them. They are giving me a good taste of what it will be like when I get my PhD. I am having to do extra research to familiarize myself with concepts that weren't explicitly taught in my classes. Additionally, I am going back and reviewing old information from my past classes. I have not studied quite this much for anything in years, so it is a good change for me. I am enjoying the information and just hope I can remember it all when the time comes.
In addition to my exams, I am busy with assignments, projects and tutoring. It is a lot! Like I said, I'm treading water to stay afloat. I am working every night prepping lessons, writing papers or doing research. But, anyone who knows me knows I am determined and that I thrive in this environment.
Besides school and work, I have been training Jack in his advanced "puppy" class. He is learning how to stay with distractions, walk through a crowd and interact with other dogs. He has completed the first 9 steps of the Canine Good Citizen exam but fails miserably at supervised separation (it's nice to be loved so much!). I can't be disappointed. He is still very little but doing great. :) He will graduate this weekend from his third training class. What a great little puppy!
I have also reconnected with my Wii in the form of Glee Karaoke. Judge away, but it is fun! Lately, I have had the urge to run. I really want to get back into my running routine but just haven't found the time. I'm hoping I can change that soon. I might go for a run tonight because I am craving it so badly. I think this is my body's way of telling me I need to take a break and start focusing on myself a little more.
In other words, my family and friends are doing well. Everyone (for the most part) is healthy and thriving. I couldn't ask for better support or more wonderful people to take care of me on rough days. They truly are my rocks and inspiration to keep "treading" along. The boyfriend, like all the others, has come and past. I'm learning that finding a good, strong man in today's world is going to be one of my greatest challenges in life. So, for now, I'm just going to stick to what I know and what I can control. In my opinion, I'm fine for now on my own and I have Jack to come home to and snuggle with every night. He's really all I need.
All in all, I'm loving and living life to the best of my ability. I know some days are tough, but things always work out and get better with patience and perseverance. I'm blessed beyond belief and know that I am fulfilling God's plans for me.
-Tracey
My students (and myself) are officially less than a week away from their big test. I am not nearly as freaked out as I was this time last week, last month or last semester. I still feel nervous, but I am hopeful that I have prepared my students to the best of my ability and they will do great things when the time comes. No matter what, I have done what I can. Now, it's up to them. :)
As far as grad school is concerned, I have my final exams for my master's in a few weeks and have been trying to prepare for them. They are giving me a good taste of what it will be like when I get my PhD. I am having to do extra research to familiarize myself with concepts that weren't explicitly taught in my classes. Additionally, I am going back and reviewing old information from my past classes. I have not studied quite this much for anything in years, so it is a good change for me. I am enjoying the information and just hope I can remember it all when the time comes.
In addition to my exams, I am busy with assignments, projects and tutoring. It is a lot! Like I said, I'm treading water to stay afloat. I am working every night prepping lessons, writing papers or doing research. But, anyone who knows me knows I am determined and that I thrive in this environment.
Besides school and work, I have been training Jack in his advanced "puppy" class. He is learning how to stay with distractions, walk through a crowd and interact with other dogs. He has completed the first 9 steps of the Canine Good Citizen exam but fails miserably at supervised separation (it's nice to be loved so much!). I can't be disappointed. He is still very little but doing great. :) He will graduate this weekend from his third training class. What a great little puppy!
I have also reconnected with my Wii in the form of Glee Karaoke. Judge away, but it is fun! Lately, I have had the urge to run. I really want to get back into my running routine but just haven't found the time. I'm hoping I can change that soon. I might go for a run tonight because I am craving it so badly. I think this is my body's way of telling me I need to take a break and start focusing on myself a little more.
In other words, my family and friends are doing well. Everyone (for the most part) is healthy and thriving. I couldn't ask for better support or more wonderful people to take care of me on rough days. They truly are my rocks and inspiration to keep "treading" along. The boyfriend, like all the others, has come and past. I'm learning that finding a good, strong man in today's world is going to be one of my greatest challenges in life. So, for now, I'm just going to stick to what I know and what I can control. In my opinion, I'm fine for now on my own and I have Jack to come home to and snuggle with every night. He's really all I need.
All in all, I'm loving and living life to the best of my ability. I know some days are tough, but things always work out and get better with patience and perseverance. I'm blessed beyond belief and know that I am fulfilling God's plans for me.
-Tracey
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)