Life Changing

Ever have one of those moments when something inside of you changes?

I had one of those moments last night. I went to Breakaway with my roommates. (For those who don't know, Breakaway is an on-campus ministry and worship held every Tuesday night at A&M.) Well, last night it was dedicated to being an "All-Women's Breakaway". Now, I'm going to be honest and will say that I didn't want to go. I was tired and just wanted to go home and read my books while looking out at the glorious snow. My roommate talked me into going...and am I sure glad she did.

A special guest speaker came to speak to us about something that was so pertinent and real in my life (and I'm sure the lives of many other women in the room). The experience was so powerful, I actually cried several times. I didn't cry because I was sad or upset, but just because what the speaker was saying was so true and so real. I honestly felt like God was speaking to me and answering many doubts I've had lately.

The speaker talked about Sarai (Abrams wife) and the mistakes she made because she was impatient in trying to conceive a child that God promised would come. Since she was tired of waiting, she decided to take matters into her own hands and ended up failing because she wasn't patient. If she had been patient, she would have been blessed by God's promises (because we know God always provides) but instead, she then had to live with the regret and disappointment of her decisions. The entire retelling of this biblical story and the relation it had to my life was almost more than I could handle. I remember myself a year ago struggling with the very same issues Sarai was dealing with. I knew what I had in my life was not what I wanted but I didn't want to be patient. Finally, I let go of my own desires and let God be in control and I have never been more blessed or more happy in my entire life. Yet, I'm still not satisfied. The desires of my heart that I want now are not happening and it is so difficult to be patient. Her words rang so true and hard in my heart.

I can honestly say that after hearing that wonderful interpretation of such a relateable story, I am changed. Something inside of me is different. I found that today, my heart did not long so much for what it did not have but instead tried more than ever to glorify God. More than ever, I have realized that I need to just let go and let God. He is in control and if I trust Him completely, I will fulfill what He designed me to do. I will glorify Him and live out His will.

What more do I need? The answer is simple. Nothing.

-Tracey