This past year has been one of the most complex and confusing years I've ever experienced. The actual events that have caused my confusion were bad, and painful, but they were not the sole reason for my hardship. In reality, I just felt lost. I really felt like I had no direction in life and I was doomed to fail. Now, knowing me, this is completely out of character. Usually, I have a clear plan and know what I am after in life, then I work hard to acocmplish that. However, it seemed like my grand plans were failing on me and it was out of my control. This frustration has made the past year difficult, but not necessarily because of the tough events and expierences I had to go through.
Recently, I have come to some peace in the midst of all of this confusion. I have discovered that life really is about Jeremiah 29:11. God has better plans for me than I have for myself and He feels that I have reached a point where I am ready to listen to Him. Before, I was so consumed by my pain that I wasn't listening and I wasn't hearing what was right. Now, I am more relaxed and am ready for the answers I've waited for. In the past week, God has answered many of my questions through very real and shocking experiences. For the first time in my life, I am listening to these answers and taking them for everything they mean. I know that God has greatness planned for me and knowing that He is in control has put me at ease and helped me battle some true heartbreak.
It's all in His hands, it's out of mine and I can take comfort knowing that the best possible plan for my life will carry itself out if I only let God control it. :)
-Tracey
