Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010!

What to say, what to say...

Wow! 2009 was a great year, probably the best year of my life so far! I became a college graduate, got to take my dream vacation to New York City and built new relationships that will carry me through future years. If I had planned 2009, I don't think I could have done a better job.

So, what is in store for 2010? Well, I will begin teaching high school freshmen at A&M Consolidated High School and will begin my master's degree in education. That's a pretty good start already! I will be living in College Station and am so excited to continue building relationships, learning more about education and beginning my career. :)

Stay tuned for a great year!

-Tracey

Graduation and Moving Forward...

I'm a GRADUATE of TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY!! A-WH09P! :)

Ok, I just had to get that out. On December 18, 2009 the statement above became fact instead of just a goal I had envisioned in my mind. To be perfectly honest, it never hit me that I was actually graduating until I was standing on the stage telling the announcer my name and being handed my degree. As I walked off the stage and back to my seat holding 3 and a half years of hard work in my hand, all I could think about was "finally." Finally, I can move on to the next degree and phase of my life.

*Sigh* I must add this sigh of relief because this has been quite the semester. Where to begin? Well, classes went well, I got to take my first graduate class (and loved it) and formed new relationships that will last me a lifetime. However, I also managed to get mono and spent most of the semester sick in bed. The fact that I was able to force myself to still go through my routine and pass my classes is a miracle when factoring in how I felt. I'm still fighting the mono now, but at least it's somewhat under control.

I'm a very impatient person, which makes life difficult sometimes. There is so much I want to accomplish, but I have to WAIT, always wait for things to happen. Yes, I'm a college graduate, but I'm still so far away from accomplishing my goals.

In the Spring, I will be student teaching to finish the requirements for my teaching certificate while I start my Master of Education in Curriculum and Instruction with an emphasis in Reading and Language Arts Education. As always, I'm hoping to rush through this masters degree so I can begin a PhD as soon as possible. I hope to finish my masters by August 2011...we'll see how that goes. I also hope to land a fulltime high school teaching position in the Fall. :) I will teach while I finish my masters, a pretty neat combination.

So, what does the life of a college graduate look like? For the next few weeks, I plan to shop, watch lots of football, read some great books, cook and just enjoy a relaxing break. So far, I'm excelling at this. :) I will begin student teaching on January 5th and graduate classes on January 19th. I also plan to work as an intern for a few hours a week at Texas A&M. I will be overseeing the activities of MSC Hospitality. :) Lastly, I plan to do some independent tutoring and editing work to make a little extra money. I have many plans and goals ahead of me that are just waiting to get accomplished.

Welcome to the next phase of my life. I'm excited and can't wait to see what is in store for me. :)

-Tracey "the college graduate"

It's all in His hands

This past year has been one of the most complex and confusing years I've ever experienced. The actual events that have caused my confusion were bad, and painful, but they were not the sole reason for my hardship. In reality, I just felt lost. I really felt like I had no direction in life and I was doomed to fail. Now, knowing me, this is completely out of character. Usually, I have a clear plan and know what I am after in life, then I work hard to acocmplish that. However, it seemed like my grand plans were failing on me and it was out of my control. This frustration has made the past year difficult, but not necessarily because of the tough events and expierences I had to go through.

Recently, I have come to some peace in the midst of all of this confusion. I have discovered that life really is about Jeremiah 29:11. God has better plans for me than I have for myself and He feels that I have reached a point where I am ready to listen to Him. Before, I was so consumed by my pain that I wasn't listening and I wasn't hearing what was right. Now, I am more relaxed and am ready for the answers I've waited for. In the past week, God has answered many of my questions through very real and shocking experiences. For the first time in my life, I am listening to these answers and taking them for everything they mean. I know that God has greatness planned for me and knowing that He is in control has put me at ease and helped me battle some true heartbreak.

It's all in His hands, it's out of mine and I can take comfort knowing that the best possible plan for my life will carry itself out if I only let God control it. :)

-Tracey

The beginning of the end...

As this title appropriately shows, tomorrow will be the first day of my last undergraduate semester at Texas A&M University. Like most soon-to-be college graduates, I have been thinking about the past three years, what they have meant to me and what the future holds. I am eager for what is coming and really cannot wait to move on towards pursuing my goals, but I am still nervous to be finished with this milestone. Here is a little reflection of my journey through A&M...

Freshman Year

This year was exciting and new. I started out as a business major and knew relatively few people. I remember thinking, on one of my first trecks across campus, that I would never be able to walk from class to class and pass people I knew. This place was so big! However, I quickly learned that campus really isn't so big after all, and I walk to class each day passing numerous friends and classmates. :) I also had a rough time finding my niche the first semester. I joined 3 organizations and tried to find my place. I made GREAT grades (Dean's List) and met some terrific people. The second semester was the one that began to change everything. I decided business was not for me. While I was good at it, I just didn't have a heart for it. I didn't know what to major it at this point, but was hopeful that something would stimulate my curiosity. I also joined a service organization and Fish Camp. These two organizations changed my life. I found out just how much I love service, leadership, mentoring young adults and in general, helping others. In addition to these organizations, I began volunteering at local elementary schools tutoring students in math and reading, and I worked at the West Campus Library.

Sophomore Year

The very first day of class, I changed my major to English rhetoric and added a psychology minor. I had decided that I wanted to help change the lives of students. This was a great decision that has had an influence on everything else I have done. I became a leader in my service organization, had the best time of my life as a Fish Camp counselor and joined at teacher organization. I continued tutoring elementary students. My classes kept me very busy. I got to take literature, writing, Spanish, psychology and some basic classes. I became a Fish Camp counselor for the second time. Then, I spent the summer following my sophomore year working camps at the Children's Museum, teaching students at Sylvan (best job ever!) and taking more classes.

Junior Year

This year was, without a doubt, the hardest and most significant of all my undergraduate years. This is the year that changed the course of my life. I am an instrinsically motivated person who accomplishes everything I set out to do. Things that are important to me permeate my life and take precedence over all other things. My junior year, the plan I had for my life fell apart, granted it was a plan that did not revolve around myself or my best interests. For the first time since coming to college, I had to evaluate where my life was going, where I wanted it to go and what I wanted to accomplish. I had to be very selfish and think of myself, completely. I was all set and prepared to graduate in May of 2009, but now I wasn't so sure. I did not have enough time to apply to graduate school and didn't know what I wanted to do. So, I added a business administration minor (ironic, I know) to keep me in school until December, long enough to figure out what to do.

The good things from my junior year, were that I was a leader in my service organization and got to plan numerous service projects for the local community to promote literacy and education (my passion). Secondly, I got to serve as a leader in my teacher organization which gave me a greater depth of knowledge about my future profession. I got to attend numerous leadership conferences and take more exciting and interesting classes. I worked as a writing tutor for the athletic department on campus, a substitute teacher and an instructor at Sylvan and still tutored children at local elementary schools. I took one class that summer, worked, volunteered and relaxed in preparation for my sernior semester. Most importantly during my junior year, I turned 21 and got my Fightin' Texas Aggie Ring (A-WH10P!).

Senior Semester

FINALLY!! So, tomorrow is the big day that marks the beginning of my senior semester. I will be graduating December 18th or 19th (we find out in September) and cannot wait! I am still a leader in my service organization, teacher organization and the memorial student center and I'm still working as a writing tutor and tutoring elementary students. I'm living in a house with some great girls and taking some of the most interesting classes yet. I applied to graduate school and am waiting for a response, but I get to take my first graduate class this semester! I am also fulfilling the requirements to gain my teacher certification. This semester is going to be a blast and I cannot wait until tomorrow.

A lot has happened in three years. I'm sad, but excited to be done with my bachelor's degree and to graduate. In the spring, I will be student teaching and beginning my master's degree in curriculum and instruction. From there, I hope to finish my master's degree quickly and move on to my PhD. This has been my ultimate goal for a long time and my motivation for everything I do. I hope to obtain a job that allows me to work in a school district helping students of all ages overcome reading and learning disabilities while teaching classes at a local university. :)

Stay tuned for what comes next...

-Tracey

Happy Birthday to me!

I'm 22!! Yay!

So, as I begin my life in the double-duece year, I am reflecting upon the past year. 21 is supposed to be a glamorous time full of new adventures and excitement. Well, that definitely represents my 21st year, but it was not all great. Many of my adventures and excitement were caused by rough patches and blessings in disguise. However, some of the greatest moments of my life happened in this year: I got my Aggie Ring, I discovered truer and deeper friendships than I could ever imagine, I found out how blessed I truly am with a family that loves and supports me and I got to focus on myself for the first time in a long time.

22 brings forth many new milestones. At 22, I will graduate from college with my bachelor's degree, begin my teaching career and start my master's degree. I look forward to all of the unanticipated adventures I will experience this next year. It is bound to be a great year! I have high expectations, as usual, but I'm living for the wonderful moments I get to have with the people I love most.

Tracey

Living a Dream

Life is good; not great, as there are always some obstacles to work through, but definitely good. A few weeks ago I had the most wonderful experience I could imagine. I got to experience one of my dream vacations: New York City. To say that it was amazing would be putting it lightly. I had a blast and was finally able to forget all my troubles and the obstacles I face at home. It was a true blessing. :)

We arrived in New York City on Sunday, but our room was not ready so we walked around the city. We walked up and down Madison Avenue where a giant market days event was occurring. Many vendors, lots of fun stuff to buy and lots of food. It was great. We also made our first, yes only first, trip to Saks Fifth Avenue (the closest thing to a shoe-lover's heaven on Earth!). We finally got into our room, on the 31st floor ,which over-looked Central Park! We went to eat and then took a carriage ride around Central Park. Not bad for the first day. On Monday, we woke up bright and early (5:30) and walked to Rockefellar Plaza to watch The Fray perform live. Oh yea, and we were on the Today Show as well. No big deal. We also took a tour of downtown Manhattan and travelled to the 86th floor of the Empire State Building which was quite amazing. Then we toured some more and went back to the hotel.

On Tuesday, we toured uptown Manhattan and Harlem then went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We aren't much of art enthusists, but we had fun. Later that day we went to Time Square and Macy's. On Wednesday we had a long, but fun day. We finally got to say the Statue of Liberty, Liberty Island and went to a Broadway show! We saw Wicked which was fabulous despite the disappoint of the book it originates from. As we were walking home from the show, we got to see Time Square at night! Thursday was our day with Dad, so we went to the American Museum of Natural History, which has an amazing dinosaur wing! We also walked through Central Park and just enjoyed our last night in New York City.

The trip was far too short, but completely amazing and just what I needed. Now, I am back in College Station having as much fun as possible. I just moved into a house with some friends and love it so much more than living in an apartment. I am also working on completing my requirements for my teacher certification program. I received my test scores from my certification exam earlier in the week; I passed with flying colors.

I will be graduating in December (less than 5 months, oh my) and will student teach in the spring. In May, I will be a fully certified teacher and will begin my masters studies in the summer. I will complete my masters over the next few years while I teach high school English. I am so excited for this next year. I can't wait to make some fabulous new memories! :)

-Tracey

Instant Gratification

In two words, I was able to sum up the difference between younger and older generations of today. Younger generations, mine for example, want instant gratification in everything we do, yet we rarely achieve it. Today, I got the blessing of feeling true instant gratification while reinforcing that I am doing what I was meant to do. I have chosen the perfect career path in being a teacher and a school psychologist.

At Sylvan on Monday, I was given a student that I had never worked with before. This student is a regular at Sylvan, so I had seen him and noticed his behaviors. He was odd, and something was just a little different about him, but since I had never worked with him, I was unaware of what this difference might be. He would randomly start yelling or singing during class and I noticed that he was often difficult to keep on task. I didn't know what to do with this student but decided I would do what I thought was best and try a variety of strategies to keep him focused and motivated.

Well, the hour was just awful. I was having a bad day and couldn't connect with the students, they were having an off day and couldn't stay focused. I left work feeling completely unproductive and like I had just wasted precious time with those students, this one little boy in particular. At the end of the hour his dad approached me. He said he had noticed my struggles with his son. I mentioned that it was difficult to get work out of him today and the father said he figured today would be a bad day for the boy. "Oh, and you did know he is autisic, right?" Well, obviously I didn't know this. I had never worked with an autistic child before so I really had no idea what to do. I thought about this a lot for the next few days. Here I am, planning to get a PhD in school psychology to help students with reading and learning disabilities, which could very well include autistic children. I was given the opportunity to put my skills to the test and I failed. Is this really the career for me? Will I be able to help these students and make a difference in their lives so they can be successful? I have been pondering these questions for the past few days, and really haven't been able to come up with an anwer for them. I got my answer tonight.

Tonight, I was teaching and was given the same little boy at my table. I'll be honest, I was really nervous to see him again. I told myself that I was a good teacher and just to do my best to help him. It would work. I worked really hard with him, asking him to help me understand the reading passages and complicated words, while helping him decipher words unknown to him. To my astonishment, we succeeded in completing five assignments. I have never been more proud of a student or my own teaching abilities. Before he left I said, "Go outside and tell your dad that you completed five assignments tonight," in my most excited voice. He looked so pleased with himself and skipped outside. A few minutes later he and his dad left, both smiling. The success of that little boy, the smile on his face and the overwhelmingly good feeling I had was my instant gratification. It told me that I have definitely picked the right career. I will be able to make a difference in the lives of children struggling with reading and learning disabilities, and most importantly, I will be happy every day of my life. I can't place this feeling into words, it's that good.

Instant gratification may be difficult for most people to experience in their careers, but I am blessed enough to get to feel it every day. :)

-Tracey

New Travels, New Home, New Beginnings...

*SIGH* That felt good. July is finally here and with it comes many new adventures for me. First of all, I will be taking a trip to New York City; a place I have wanted to visit since I was very young. The busyness, intrigue and chaos interest me and I am ready to become part of this never-ending city.

Secondly, I will be moving out of my apartment (that I am not very fond of) into a house! In preparation for the move, I am desperately trying to consolidate and down-size my belongings. In three years and three moves, this down-size has never occurred. Therefore, I have accumulated a lot of junk that I really don't need. The mantra is: if I haven't used it in the last month, it's gone. :)

With many new adventures coming toward me, I am excited for the future. This next year is my senior year (well, semester really) and will prove to be exciting. Graduate school will be challenging but will provide me with the knowledge I need to pursue my dreams. I look forward to and anticipate many new people coming into my life as some people have left my life.

New beginnings may be somewhat scary, but they are worth every risk and create amazing memories as they become part of the past.

-Tracey

Untamed Heart

I am an ambitious woman with big dreams and aspirations. I know what I want out of my life and I am not willing to settle for less. I have high expectations for myself, and I achieve whatever goals I set. I have high expectations for the people and events in my life. I get disappointed when my expecations are not met, primarily because the reasons they are not met is always out of my control.

Those are some bold statements, but they definitely describe me. I can easily see the big picture, but I see the tiniest details as well. I think life is basically simple; things are black and white. The grey areas cause confusion. Despite all of this, I have discovered that I am a very complex individual. Yes, I am genuine and straightforward and the tiniest thing makes me happy for days on end. (Example: I went home for fathers day and grabbed the first pillow I found to sleep with. It turned out to be the most perfect pillow I have had in years. This pillow has helped me sleep better, and is so soft and comfortable. It is a simple treasure in life that definitely puts a smile on my face.) Although I am years beyond my numerical age, I have a very wild and child-like, untamed heart. I feel older than I really am and most people agree that I act older too, yet the true desires of my heart are filled with a child-like fantasy. I believe having this child-like optimism for my hopes, dreams and goals is what makes me successful in achieving what I set out to achieve.

It is currently "wedding season" and I am watching many friends walk down the aisle into blissfully happy lives together. Graduation is less than 6 months away. I will have my first "big girl" job in a year. I have experienced true heartache. Life is moving faster these days. I am overcome with the sense that I am growing up, but I refuse to lose my child-like optimism. I like being a complex, beyond-her-years woman with the courage to pursue high goals. That is what makes me the person I am. I am excited for the future and will continue to have my high expectations. I will get to watch those high expectations become realities. I am ready to take on "grown up" responsibilites. I am ready to continue to enhance the person I am while building my independent spirit. Above all of this, I will continue to embrace my deepest passion in life: helping others. This independent, strong-willed yet child-like personality that I have makes me a wonderful motivator and teacher. My purpose in life is to help children and adolescents become successful members of society. I am so fortunate to have such strong personality qualities that allow me to accomplish this purpose.

I think Journey had it right, "Don't stop believin', hold on to that feeling." "That feeling", for me at least, is the independence that grows out of child-like optimism.

-Tracey

Crash and burn, then from the ashes comes new life...

It's hard sometimes to recognize a good thing when it happens. At this time, things are going amazingly. No, my life is not perfect, but for the first time in a long time, I am thinking of myself and what is best for me. That's not to say I'm not thinking of others as well, because as always, I am. It just means that I have finally gotten closure and have a feeling of my new life beginning.

I am reminded of a scene from Harry Potter, though I can't remember which book it is from. Harry is in Professor Dumbledore's office when suddenly, Dumbledore's precoius pheonix bursts into flames. Harry is immediately distraught at this event, and is terrified to tell Dumbledore what has happened. Harry just knows he will be blamed for the bird's death. When Dumbledore reenters the room, Harry explains what happened, ready for the worst. However, Dumbledore is calm and says that the bird was old and ready to die. Then, as they are talking, a new pheonix emerges from the ashes. :) This event seems to be a metaphor for the past year of my life. I had some great things in my life that I counted on always having, then suddenly, through no fault of my own, they were taken from me. I questioned why and could not seem to come up with an appropriate answer. All I could see was the damage that had been caused and the ashes, but those things were old and Someone much wiser knew I was ready for a new life. Now that new life has emerged in full force, and I couldn't be more excited.

I am slowly but surely finding my place in this world and figuring out what I am supposed to do with my life. I know that I am meant for something great and I am meant to help people. I have a passion for living, helping others, education and psychology. I plan to combine these passions and talents into my dream career.

Right now, I am applying to graduate schools and programs in hopes that the right one will accept me and help me pursue my dreams. While all of this is occurring, I find comfort, support and love from my amzaing family. They are behind me no matter what and only want the best for me.

You can definitely say I'm a lucky girl. :)

-Tracey

"Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart into it, take yourself out of it."

This quotation has become more meaningful for me in the past year than any other time in my life. I am a passionate person to my core, and if I feel strongly enough about something, I will pursue it with everything I am. I am passionate about community service, teaching and learning; perhaps that is why my main activities from day to day involve studying, reading, teaching and helping others. One thing I wish I could have, but is an impossibility, is more time. I don't like when I have to choose between two activities I have a passion for. I have to ask myself, "Which is more important?" or "Which is more beneficial?" It always hard. This choice has come up many times lately and because of time, I have to leave the best job I have ever had (school's fault).

I have had the fantastic experience of working at Sylvan Learning Center for the past year. This job has helped me improve my teaching skills in a remarkable way. I got to teach so many different subjects (Math, Reading, Study Skills, Spanish, ACT/SAT prep, TAKS, and Writing) and got to work with every age-level, from 6-year-olds to college students. This experience helped reinforce that I definitely want to work with older students, mainly middle and high school. Don't get me wrong, the little ones are absolutely precious and always make me laugh, but frankly, they just wear me out! While I love teaching the students, helping them build their confidence and skills, my favorite times are just sitting and talking to them. At Sylvan, we have ten-minute breaks every fifty minutes (psychology shows that this improves retention). I always have several students that will use that break time to come talk to me about school or life, and I love it. One day, I walked into work and three students that I had never taught saw me and ran over yelling "Miss Tracey!" to give me hugs. :)

One day, I came to Sylvan and was informed that I would be teaching a new writing student, let's call him John Doe. Now, John had been coming to Sylvan for math help already, and I often watched him with his teachers and thanked God that I didn't have a student like him. Haha. He wasn't a bad student by any means, for the most part. He finished his work and was polite; however, he let me know very quickly that he was in charge and he was right. My silly grammar rules and writing techniques (that have worked for centuries) were not correct. How do you explain dangling modifiers to a student who refuses to take your word for it? "Well, dangling modifiers are modifiers that have no subject attached to them. For example, in the sentence 'Slamming on the breaks, the car lurched forward' there is a dangling modifier. Who slammed on the breaks? The car didn't. Therefore, we need to add a subject after the comma to get rid of the dangling modifier. So, a correct sentence might say 'Slamming on the breaks, Bob lurched the car forward. Does that make sense?" John then proceeded to tell me that that wasn't how he saw it. The sentence was correct. No dangling modifier, just like he said. I sighed. He was by far one of my most difficult students, not to mention, he was only three months younger than me, but I may have led him to believe that I had been teaching high school for several years. He never looked at my Aggie Ring to confirm the '09 graduation date. Now, while John was slightly difficult to work with (cough, cough, REALLY difficult to work with), I could not have been more proud when I found out that he had done well enough on his writing sample to get into the school he wanted. Yes!

I could tell stories galore about my experiences with these students, and I'm sure I will tell more. I know each of them has the ability to be successful. I have had some very difficult students, some disobiedient students and some perfect angels, but each one has a special place in my heart. I can't wait until I have my six class periods of bright and shining faces with eager minds for me to mold. Again, in that experience, I will have numerous personalities, achievement levels and behavior problems to deal with, but I don't foresee having a student that doesn't touch my heart.

I can't help but sit here and smile and laugh a little. I am picturing my classroom right now, and each student walking through my door on August XX, 2010. :)

-Tracey

Reaching out, but gaining more....

For a while now, I have wanted to start a blog, but I have never felt like I would have enough to write about. I always knew I would begin a blog in conjunction with my teaching career to document my experiences and share fun stories about my kiddos, but so much has happened in my life in the past year and will continue to happen in the coming year before I begin teaching that I decided to start publishing my thoughts now. To begin, I will write about a current life-changing experience I had that I will surely never forget.

Last week, I had the opportunity to participate in a program called Aggies Reaching Out. This program centers around helping underprivleged 8th-grade students learn about college and stimulate their interest in pursuing a higher education. I travelled to Edinburg, TX with fifteen other counselors, stayed with former Aggies and had the chance to mentor twenty-one 8th-graders for a week. That week was nothing short of amazing for me. Myself and the other counselors woke up early each day and travelled to the school we were working with where we would do leadership activities and service projects for the school. We would then "shadow" the 8th graders for the rest of the school day (meaning we would follow them around to all of their classes and help them with their assignments). After school, we would take the students on field trips to local businesses to show them careers they could only pursue with a college education or we would help them participate in leadership and teambuilding activities. Every day was a new adventure in which I got to mentor a new student and help numerous other kiddos. This experience simply reinforced my passion for helping students and made me that much more excited for my future career.

I can't wait to graduate from A&M in December, begin my Master's studies and start molding the minds of youngsters in the local area. My passion in life is to help students realize their potential and put that potential towards a fullfilling career that makes them happy on a daily basis. This past semester my mom wrote me something that I think is key to finding a rewarding career, "If you love what you are doing, you will never work a day in your life." Although I returned from Edinburg completely exhausted, I loved every minute of it and cannot wait to live my life doing that very same thing. My kiddos from that week are emailing and texting me saying they miss the counselors and want us to come back. In December, we will bring them to A&M for a weekend and I cannot wait to see their happy faces as we show them a real college campus. This experience was for the students to help them realize the importance of college, but I believe I returned home impacted just as much as the students were, if not more.

I love to write so I'm hoping this blog can serve as a form of entertainment and enjoyment for myself, my family, my friends and whoever else wants to read it. I welcome comments and suggestions! :)

-Tracey