So, lately, I have been disenchanted and unmotivated in most every aspect of my life. I was going through a "poor me" and "feel sorry for me", selfish stage for a few weeks. Yes, there were things going on that I was less than pleased about, but I wasn't taking advantage of the opportunities to grow and learn. Instead, I was whining, complaining and generally being an unpleasant person. True, I could not change many of the things that were making me unhappy, so instead, I decided (with a little help from the Big Guy upstairs) to change me.
School has been rougher for me than I anticipated. The kids are rough, but I just wasn't taking advantage of teaching them and loving them. I complained nearly every day about how I felt that I was failing them and not living up to my potential. They weren't succeeding and it was my fault. Through some kind words and encouragement from my family, friends and roommates, I was able to feel a little better, but not much. I wanted to cry everyday, but never could. I have never not been able to cry, so this dilemma was particularly confusing and hard to deal with. However, as always, I have found my answers in God.
God showed me the answers to my problems through some fantastic ministries and quiet time. It didn't happen in one setting, but it definitely showed me that I am blessed beyond what I deserve. He showed me that I need to take full advantage of the beauty of my life. I get to go to work everyday and do the work I love. I read, write and teach for 10-12 hours a day and get PAID to do it! Plus, I get to dress basically however I want to, plan with great teammates and hang out with crazy 7th graders all day. Additionally, I get to be a role model and make a difference in the lives of students who have little to look forward to in life. They are broken and hurting and I am there to help them. That is such a rewarding and blessed feeling. I can't describe it.
Additionally, I still have time to do all the things I love. I get to read great novels, play with my puppy, enjoy video games and spend time with the people I love every day. I get home and get to spend 3-5 hours enjoying my day before bed. I have the world's greatest puppy who I walk every day and get to train. He has been such a joy and is so much fun to have around.
Finally, all the people I love and care about are around me all the time and in great health. Seriously, I have no worries in life and live a beyond blessed existence. I have nothing to whine or complain about. Thanks, God, for forcing me to look at things with a new perspective and understand how good I have it.
"I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it all. I'll stand my soul, Lord, to you surrendered. All I have is Yours."
-Tracey
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
7 weeks in...Many, many more to go!
It has been a while since I've written. Primarily, this is due to my busy-ness with work, school, Jack and other, fun activities.
I have successfully completed my first 6-weeks as a full time teacher. It was exciting, tough, exhausting and fun. Teaching 7th graders is far more difficult and more challenging than I could have imagined. Especially, my 7th graders. My 7th graders are especially difficult to handle and "rough". I love them dearly, but I am exhausted all the time, and I often wonder if they are learning anything from me. Then, when I feel hopeless and like I can't do this, they surprise me. They are quite special and I care about them dearly. I hope they learn as much from me as I do from them in the next 32 weeks.
Graduate school is going well. I am working on 2 research projects plus an independent research project and one class. It is keeping me very busy reading and writing. I will be applying to the PhD program later this semester (once the department gets organized and releases the application). I am excited about that and know it will be challenging but rewarding. Additionally, I am in the process of deciding what courses to take in the spring. I have 9 hours left to finish and am considering whether I would like to graduate in May or August. May would be rushing it and would be difficult but I think it will be nice to have a summer with no worries or course work to complete.
Jack is great as usual. Earlier this semester, he graduated from intermediate puppy training class! I was so proud of him and what he accomplished. He really is a hard-working and neat puppy. We will beginning an Advanced training class soon. I'm excited to continue his training. It is great for him to be able to learn things and socialize with other dogs and it helps me be a better owner, too. I love that he will be so well trained as well. It will make our life together easier and more enjoyable. Above is a picture of Jack (left) and his friend (Ari) at their graduation. Ari's mama is a PhD student with me and they will be in the advanced training class as well.
In addition to all of the above, I am just trying to enjoy my first-year teaching. I try to find plenty of time to go out with friends, play Wii, read, write and exercise. Last weekend, I went to visit my family for the first time in 3 months. It was so relaxing and enjoyable. I rode the 4-wheeler, cooked at the deer lease and was pampered incesantly by my family. It was so nice. I forgot how nice it can be to just go visit family. Life at the house is good. I finally began decorating my living room and put up curtains. I still have a long way to go before my house is completely put together, but it is slowly but surely getting there. Give me another year or so and it will feel the way it should. Much to my dismay, I have not had as much time for reading lately as I would like. I am too busy and too exhausted at the end of the day to read. I lay in bed and just fall asleep quickly.
Recent Reads:
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
In the Fall by Jefferey Lent
Charlie St. Cloud by Ben Sherwood
Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks
Stay tuned for more adventures of a 7th-grade teacher!
-Tracey
I have successfully completed my first 6-weeks as a full time teacher. It was exciting, tough, exhausting and fun. Teaching 7th graders is far more difficult and more challenging than I could have imagined. Especially, my 7th graders. My 7th graders are especially difficult to handle and "rough". I love them dearly, but I am exhausted all the time, and I often wonder if they are learning anything from me. Then, when I feel hopeless and like I can't do this, they surprise me. They are quite special and I care about them dearly. I hope they learn as much from me as I do from them in the next 32 weeks.
Graduate school is going well. I am working on 2 research projects plus an independent research project and one class. It is keeping me very busy reading and writing. I will be applying to the PhD program later this semester (once the department gets organized and releases the application). I am excited about that and know it will be challenging but rewarding. Additionally, I am in the process of deciding what courses to take in the spring. I have 9 hours left to finish and am considering whether I would like to graduate in May or August. May would be rushing it and would be difficult but I think it will be nice to have a summer with no worries or course work to complete.
In addition to all of the above, I am just trying to enjoy my first-year teaching. I try to find plenty of time to go out with friends, play Wii, read, write and exercise. Last weekend, I went to visit my family for the first time in 3 months. It was so relaxing and enjoyable. I rode the 4-wheeler, cooked at the deer lease and was pampered incesantly by my family. It was so nice. I forgot how nice it can be to just go visit family. Life at the house is good. I finally began decorating my living room and put up curtains. I still have a long way to go before my house is completely put together, but it is slowly but surely getting there. Give me another year or so and it will feel the way it should. Much to my dismay, I have not had as much time for reading lately as I would like. I am too busy and too exhausted at the end of the day to read. I lay in bed and just fall asleep quickly.
Recent Reads:
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
In the Fall by Jefferey Lent
Charlie St. Cloud by Ben Sherwood
Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks
Stay tuned for more adventures of a 7th-grade teacher!
-Tracey
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