You always know exactly what I need exactly when I need it...

Last Sunday in church, the sermon was about being thankful and rejoicing in the Lord even when it seems like He is doing nothing special in your life. The preacher spoke about the "lost son" who ran away from his father and squandered his inheritance, yet when he returned to his father, the father welcomed him with open arms and let his blessings pour out. The good son who had stayed home with the father and worked diligently for him his entire life because jealous at the father's love and support of the other son. The point of the sermon was that we should strive to be like neither son, but should love the Lord completely and without expectation of anything. Moreover, our actions should be driven by our love for God, and only by that. Then, this week at Breakaway, the sermon was about being positive and rejoicing in every blessing the Lord pours out, even when this seems difficult.

I have personally been struggling greatly with the upcoming changes in my life. My very best friend and amazing roommate for the past two school years is moving back home for student teaching and to hopefully get a job and settle down there. While I could not be more proud of her or excited about the amazing opportunities she has, I have been saddened by the loss. I won't get to see my best friend everyday? Laugh with her about silly things? Quote "Bring it on" while cleaning the kitchen after dinner? Sing "Our God is Greater" at the top of our lungs? Stay up late at night watching "Say Yes to the Dress" and coloring firemen and cop hats for a project? Talk for forty straight minutes about how much I love my kids while she listens intently? It is strange to me to see these wonderful memories and blessing will leave. These thoughts have been clouding my brain for the past few weeks, keeping me from seeing that, as always, God knew what He was doing.

First, God brought me some new friends. He brought them in suddenly and didn't let me know that they would become some of the best friends I could ask for. These friends include:

-An old work friend: She is beautiful and kind and knows the demands of being young and pursuing a PhD. We have fun shopping, watching movies and chatting incessantly about life, school and what we hope to accomplish in the future. It is so nice to have her around.

-Reuniting me with three of my best friends from high school. These girls were so important to me for nearly twenty years, then life happened in college. We have been reuniting and our opportunities to get together have grown more frequent over the past few months. I had forgotten how much I loved their company and how much I rely on them for support, guidance and love. They are wonderful girls who are truly going to make a difference in the world.

-my writing group. God gave me the opportunity to join a writing group with other women who are pursuing PhDs while dealing with full-time jobs, families and the stresses of life. These women are caring, truly beautiful women who inspire me. They show me the kind of woman I would like to be when I "grow up" while being a wonderful support to help me with my degree.

-my co-workers, especially my lunch group. I have had the wonderful opportunity to work at a school that is anything but easy. However, God didn't leave me alone and gave me a group of co-workers that show me how much hard-work, patience and love can do for children. They have taught me so much, and our daily lunch conversations have become something I look forward to at work.

-my boys. God introduced me to some wonderful young men this semester. In the past few years, I have struggled with trusting men and not being so bitter about relationships and such. These guys are some of the nicest people I have ever met who have no hidden motive behind their niceness. They do it because it's right. I am thankful that God gave me some people who can alter my negative views. One of these guys has turned into a great friend who I trust and enjoy having around. The other has turned into more than just a nice friend and makes me so happy. :)

-strengthening my relationships with my roommates. While bringing all of these new relationships into my life, God did not forget the ones I already had that were strong. Instead of just saying, "Tracey's good" and letting them go, he gave me opportunities to strengthen these bonds as well. I feel I have become even closer to my roommates than before and continue to fall more in love with them every day.

-family, as always. God has also strengthened the already insanely close bond I have with my dad, mom, sister and grandmother. We already share and incredibly close bond, but it has become stronger as I have dealt with the struggles of school, work and life. It is beautiful to see how God can guide such close relationships to find a deeper bond still.

While God gave me all of these wonderful relationships, he did not forget the point of all of this. So, the second thing He did this semester was show me that all of those wonderful memories I have with my best friend will not come to an end. They will continue and I look forward to seeing what He has planned.

It took two sermons this week for me to stop, look around and realize what wonderful things God has been working on in my life all semester. I realize once again that I am selfish and eternally broken. I am nothing without His love and guidance. All I really have to do is stop and let His will be done.

-Tracey