"It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; it is
disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people
acquainted, and seven days are more than enough for others." - Jane
Austen (Sense and Sensibility)
Currently, I am reading this novel for one of my summer classes and this quote struck me as being such a beautiful sentiment. As always, I find that God is directing me exactly where I need to go and is giving me one of my greatest joys, books, to share clever thoughts with me. I have never read this book of my own accord but so far, I love it! I've always been a fan of Jane Austen novels but haven't read them all. This summer, I will read 5 of her 6 novels. Heck, I'll probably throw in the last book for good measure.
Anyway, this thought in simple terms means: It is not time or availability that determines a love connection between two people; it is personality alone. Seven years would not be enough to make some people fall in love, and seven days are more than enough for others.
To me, that is such a beautiful thought and clearly depicts what I think about falling in love. There are so many relationships in my past that I feel were forced, and so many others that I disregarded by saying "it's not a good time for me" or "I don't want to do distance" or "I don't have time for a relationship" or some other excuse. Yet, I always found myself admitting to friends if a guy came along who genuinely interested me, none of those things would matter. I would make the time and do it gladly! I have even received backlash from guys who say I didn't give them a fair shot, but in reality, I knew they weren't for me. While I don't fall fast, I do know rather quickly about someone. Within a month of every relationship I've been in, I've known whether it would be long or short and whether it would end or not. Even my most substantial relationship, I predicted would not end in marriage despite its lengthy duration. I predict that I will know within in a month of dating my forever man, too.
I thank God for bringing such a beautiful sentiment into my heart and sharing it through an intriguing story of the quest for love and the factors that can derail it. It is incredible to me how little has changed in over 200 years. We have become so much more advanced as a society, intellectually, but still have difficulties with intimacy. I am interested in continuing to analyze the parallels between this novel (published in the early 1800s) and life today.
This quote says it all. In issues of the heart, nothing else does matter but a compatible personality and temperament conducive to a relationship. It really is as simple as I've always believed it to be. I've just never had the good fortune of experiencing it, but hey, I'm still young! :)
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Dear College Students...from the 8th Graders!
Today, I asked some of my students to write letters to my future college students. I asked them to give advice to my students about what kind of teacher I am and what they can expect. Keep in mind these are from the perspective (and writing abilities) of 8th graders. They gave me a good laugh and really gave me some insights into my personality! :) Enjoy...
Dear College Students,
You have Ms. Hodges (I think) as your professor. I thought she was a Language Arts Teacher not a scientist?? Well, anyway you need to know that her favorite color is red BUT she will DENY it...and she LOVES to be called Miss, so call her that. Everything else you can find out on your own because you all are Big Kids now! :)
-G
Listen up college people, ya'll better be freakin' good to her! She is so amazin' but she can be mean if she wants to be. Ms. Hodges is sweet, pretty, and young [younger than I thought]. She has an amazin' personality and she is pretty chillax. Plus she crazy..she can be such a teen at heart. But I freakin' love her! She is my favorite teacher and I'm like cereally going to meet her!
-A
You have Ms. Hodges as your professor. She is a very polite person. You will need to know that she dislikes pickles and things that are not perfect. She will expect you to be on your best behavior, and if you participate a lot in class, you will actually love her because she will treat you like a good friend.
-M
Mrs. Hodges she is real cool and she loves Jacob off Twilight, she loves reading, she hates it when you talk a lot. Ms. Hodges let's you watch The Outsiders and Grease with John Travolta. She is the coolest teacher you will ever have. When you are in her class, she let's you do a lot of fun things.
-R
You will love her. She's great! She has taught me so much! Sometimes she can even have a country accent! I'm going to miss her so much. You're lucky she's your teacher.
-M
Ms. Hodges is a very kind, fun and interesting person. Though if you talk or misbehave in her class, she'll get mean! But she is very in depth and loves reading and her dog. She always has a lovely smile and brightens up any room she walks into. Be nice to her and do well!
-G
You have Ms. Hodges as your professor! She need a man cause she's going to be getting old soon. He has to be smart, polite, athletic. Anyways, she's fun and funny. Turn in your stuff on time, but if you need more time, ask her nicely and she'll probably give you some more time.
-T
You have Mrs. Hodges as your professor. She is nice but if you get on her bad side, she will flip. But she is a good teacher. She's very laid back sometimes. She likes people who work. She dislikes people who disrespect. She is a BIG BOOK WORM! She always was her nose in a book. Ya'll will like her.
-S
You have Ms. Hodges as your teacher...I mean PROFESSOR! Well, she's cool and VERY patient. Like oh my goodness...I would literally go crazy trying to teach these kids. They ask too many questions. I won't lie, I ask too many questions. She's weird...like a fruit-loop. She is really nice though. Y'all are freakin' lucky! to have her as ateacher professor.
-L
So, I know you are going to have the most wonderful teacher, Ms. Hodges. So, I'm going to tell you a couple of things she likes to do and what she doesn't like. Her favorite thing to do is READ. She can read even in her dreams even if that sounds annoying. It's really good at the same time because she talks really fast and sometimes you are like "what did she just say?" Anyways, the thing she really hates is students' interrupting her! I know you are going to enjoy her and one tip: in Halloween, dress up as Jacob and I promise she'll get married with you.
-A
You have Ms. Hodges as your professor. She is a good teacher but can be mean at some points if she has to be. She is smart and strict about grading papers. She checks off on all grammar, but she loves to read the Hunger Games.
-B
You have Ms. Hodges as your professor. She can't sing so don't sleep in her class. You need to know that she likes Twilight but dislikes a lot of stuff. She hates sleepers and people who annoy her.
-R
Hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my classroom and the minds of teenagers!
Dear College Students,
You have Ms. Hodges (I think) as your professor. I thought she was a Language Arts Teacher not a scientist?? Well, anyway you need to know that her favorite color is red BUT she will DENY it...and she LOVES to be called Miss, so call her that. Everything else you can find out on your own because you all are Big Kids now! :)
-G
Listen up college people, ya'll better be freakin' good to her! She is so amazin' but she can be mean if she wants to be. Ms. Hodges is sweet, pretty, and young [younger than I thought]. She has an amazin' personality and she is pretty chillax. Plus she crazy..she can be such a teen at heart. But I freakin' love her! She is my favorite teacher and I'm like cereally going to meet her!
-A
You have Ms. Hodges as your professor. She is a very polite person. You will need to know that she dislikes pickles and things that are not perfect. She will expect you to be on your best behavior, and if you participate a lot in class, you will actually love her because she will treat you like a good friend.
-M
Mrs. Hodges she is real cool and she loves Jacob off Twilight, she loves reading, she hates it when you talk a lot. Ms. Hodges let's you watch The Outsiders and Grease with John Travolta. She is the coolest teacher you will ever have. When you are in her class, she let's you do a lot of fun things.
-R
You will love her. She's great! She has taught me so much! Sometimes she can even have a country accent! I'm going to miss her so much. You're lucky she's your teacher.
-M
Ms. Hodges is a very kind, fun and interesting person. Though if you talk or misbehave in her class, she'll get mean! But she is very in depth and loves reading and her dog. She always has a lovely smile and brightens up any room she walks into. Be nice to her and do well!
-G
You have Ms. Hodges as your professor! She need a man cause she's going to be getting old soon. He has to be smart, polite, athletic. Anyways, she's fun and funny. Turn in your stuff on time, but if you need more time, ask her nicely and she'll probably give you some more time.
-T
You have Mrs. Hodges as your professor. She is nice but if you get on her bad side, she will flip. But she is a good teacher. She's very laid back sometimes. She likes people who work. She dislikes people who disrespect. She is a BIG BOOK WORM! She always was her nose in a book. Ya'll will like her.
-S
You have Ms. Hodges as your teacher...I mean PROFESSOR! Well, she's cool and VERY patient. Like oh my goodness...I would literally go crazy trying to teach these kids. They ask too many questions. I won't lie, I ask too many questions. She's weird...like a fruit-loop. She is really nice though. Y'all are freakin' lucky! to have her as a
-L
So, I know you are going to have the most wonderful teacher, Ms. Hodges. So, I'm going to tell you a couple of things she likes to do and what she doesn't like. Her favorite thing to do is READ. She can read even in her dreams even if that sounds annoying. It's really good at the same time because she talks really fast and sometimes you are like "what did she just say?" Anyways, the thing she really hates is students' interrupting her! I know you are going to enjoy her and one tip: in Halloween, dress up as Jacob and I promise she'll get married with you.
-A
You have Ms. Hodges as your professor. She is a good teacher but can be mean at some points if she has to be. She is smart and strict about grading papers. She checks off on all grammar, but she loves to read the Hunger Games.
-B
You have Ms. Hodges as your professor. She can't sing so don't sleep in her class. You need to know that she likes Twilight but dislikes a lot of stuff. She hates sleepers and people who annoy her.
-R
Hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my classroom and the minds of teenagers!
Saturday, May 19, 2012
6 years later, what have I learned?
Well, I have just finished up my 6th year (can you believe it??) of college. I have learned more in the last six years than I could ever describe in one blog posting. I have acquired a great deal of academic knowledge that will serve me in my future endeavors. I'm well under-way on my final degree at A&M and my second Master's. I can, without a doubt, admit that I have been blessed with opportunity and have done well.
Here are the things in my "other education" that I have learned along the way:
1. When going out with friends, beer costs roughly $2 while a Jack and Coke (my favorite drink) is about $6-$8. This is easy math. If you want to save money, learn to like beer. I have. (Mom, this one was for you. Proud?)
2. Crockpots are God's gift to the world. Throw anything you have in it (some kind of raw or frozen meat, veggies, seasonings and broth). Anything will turn out amazingly, can cook all day while you are gone and left-overs are delicious. (Again, it saves money to cook this way versus going out all the time.)
3. I will get more reading and writing done in my bed with my iTunes blaring than anywhere else in the world. I don't know why...and yes, I know psychology says don't do this, but it works!
4. I miss being home in the country, walking around the land, riding the tractor with my grandfather, fishing, riding the four-wheeler, shooting guns, smelling the roses with my grandmother. I never thought I'd miss where I grew up, but sometimes I do.
5. Friends last forever. The people that I grew up with and worked years developing relationships with are still present in my life and still close to my heart. I have added friends along the way that will be forever friends as well. Let's just say, my future children will have many "aunts" and god-parents. :)
6. Romantic relationships will get more complicated and harder to come by. In high school, relationships were easy. Games weren't played and it was easy to get along with someone. In college, all people wanted to do was play games. In adulthood, dating takes up too much time. It's a rough hobby to pursue.
7. Live every day as if it is a celebration of life.
8. When all else fails, you feel overwhelmed or just need some inspiration - turn to prayer. God will pull you through, maybe not in the way you want, but in the way that is best. He has a plan bigger than you.
Let's see what I learn in the next 3 years...
-Tracey
Here are the things in my "other education" that I have learned along the way:
1. When going out with friends, beer costs roughly $2 while a Jack and Coke (my favorite drink) is about $6-$8. This is easy math. If you want to save money, learn to like beer. I have. (Mom, this one was for you. Proud?)
2. Crockpots are God's gift to the world. Throw anything you have in it (some kind of raw or frozen meat, veggies, seasonings and broth). Anything will turn out amazingly, can cook all day while you are gone and left-overs are delicious. (Again, it saves money to cook this way versus going out all the time.)
3. I will get more reading and writing done in my bed with my iTunes blaring than anywhere else in the world. I don't know why...and yes, I know psychology says don't do this, but it works!
4. I miss being home in the country, walking around the land, riding the tractor with my grandfather, fishing, riding the four-wheeler, shooting guns, smelling the roses with my grandmother. I never thought I'd miss where I grew up, but sometimes I do.
5. Friends last forever. The people that I grew up with and worked years developing relationships with are still present in my life and still close to my heart. I have added friends along the way that will be forever friends as well. Let's just say, my future children will have many "aunts" and god-parents. :)
6. Romantic relationships will get more complicated and harder to come by. In high school, relationships were easy. Games weren't played and it was easy to get along with someone. In college, all people wanted to do was play games. In adulthood, dating takes up too much time. It's a rough hobby to pursue.
7. Live every day as if it is a celebration of life.
8. When all else fails, you feel overwhelmed or just need some inspiration - turn to prayer. God will pull you through, maybe not in the way you want, but in the way that is best. He has a plan bigger than you.
Let's see what I learn in the next 3 years...
-Tracey
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
A day in the life...
5 am: First alarm goes off
5:15 am: Second alarm goes off
5:30 am: Third alarm goes off
6 am: Final alarm goes off
6:20 am: Awoken by a lick in the face from Jack
6:25 am: Get out of bed and get ready for work (shower and get dressed and such)
6:50 am: Walk with Jack
7:07 am: Pack lunch and set up roast to cook in the crockpot
7:12 am: Put out food for Jack and set him up in his "play area"
7:17 am: Leave house
7:30 am: Receive morning coffee from my morning coffee guy (the same guy gets me my coffee every morning...he's nice and always welcomes me with a smile)
7:40 am: Arrive at work (yea, I was late...)
7:45 am: Bus duty
8:15 am: Return to classroom, make copies, prep for the day
9:09 am - 3:27 pm: Teach the children
4 pm: Faculty meeting
4:45 pm: Get coffee from my afternoon coffee guy (half price frappacinos!)
5:15 pm: Arrive home and walk Jack
5:45 pm: Check emails, stress about student loans, phone vent session with mom about being poor and "how the heck am I going to pay for all this?" and "am I crazy?" and "what the heck am I doing with my life?"
6:15 pm: stress relief - blare music, sing loudly, make mac-n-cheese to go with pot roast (from this morning, it cooked all day) and chase Jack around the house
6:45 pm: Eat dinner
7:30 pm: Write quizzes, grade papers, check work emails, enter grades (for work) while catching up on Tuesday's recorded shows
8:15 pm: Evening run/walk/workout
9:15 pm: Shower
9:30 pm: Read articles, work on matrix, write (for grad school)
11:30 pm: Realize how late it is and go to bed
11:45 pm: Read for enjoyment
12:30 am: Fall asleep...
...5 am: First alarm goes off and repeat.
5:15 am: Second alarm goes off
5:30 am: Third alarm goes off
6 am: Final alarm goes off
6:20 am: Awoken by a lick in the face from Jack
6:25 am: Get out of bed and get ready for work (shower and get dressed and such)
6:50 am: Walk with Jack
7:07 am: Pack lunch and set up roast to cook in the crockpot
7:12 am: Put out food for Jack and set him up in his "play area"
7:17 am: Leave house
7:30 am: Receive morning coffee from my morning coffee guy (the same guy gets me my coffee every morning...he's nice and always welcomes me with a smile)
7:40 am: Arrive at work (yea, I was late...)
7:45 am: Bus duty
8:15 am: Return to classroom, make copies, prep for the day
9:09 am - 3:27 pm: Teach the children
4 pm: Faculty meeting
4:45 pm: Get coffee from my afternoon coffee guy (half price frappacinos!)
5:15 pm: Arrive home and walk Jack
5:45 pm: Check emails, stress about student loans, phone vent session with mom about being poor and "how the heck am I going to pay for all this?" and "am I crazy?" and "what the heck am I doing with my life?"
6:15 pm: stress relief - blare music, sing loudly, make mac-n-cheese to go with pot roast (from this morning, it cooked all day) and chase Jack around the house
6:45 pm: Eat dinner
7:30 pm: Write quizzes, grade papers, check work emails, enter grades (for work) while catching up on Tuesday's recorded shows
8:15 pm: Evening run/walk/workout
9:15 pm: Shower
9:30 pm: Read articles, work on matrix, write (for grad school)
11:30 pm: Realize how late it is and go to bed
11:45 pm: Read for enjoyment
12:30 am: Fall asleep...
...5 am: First alarm goes off and repeat.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
My brain is like a platform, all the thoughts are swirling around at once across the platform, it's really complicated...
I'm not sure why but I woke this morning with a fright....something was wrong. I could feel it. I was nervous and looked anxiously around me. I grabbed Jack, petting his head and looked around a bit dazed. "What time is it? There's light flooding through my window," I thought. I reached for my phone and instantly saw all the green...3 missed calls, 4 texts...11 o'clock! "What?!? I'm late! No...it's Sunday. I'm fine." I checked the calls and texts, nothing out of the ordinary. "Why do I feel this way?"
To clear my head, I decided to go for a walk. I've been talking quite a few walks lately (thanks to the inspiration of a dear friend). I have to get in better shape for two weddings in six months...I've got work to do but I hate working out. Walking is tolerable and really gives me a chance to clear my head. I don't take my phone or music...just me and the great outdoors. When I was younger, I used to take long walks around my family's property nearly every day and loved it. I miss that about the country. It's hard to find good places to walk that really put me at ease here in town.
Anyway, while I'm walking, my mind goes into overdrive. It's the only time I do just one thing...no distractions, no multitasking, just me. My thoughts are scatterbrained and all over the place.
I wonder if Jack is barking.
iPads...
how would I write this IRB proposal for a study on attendance? Oh, I need to review those articles first...write a lit review. I'll do that this week after work.
coffee
wonder if I can find that cute bag I've been wanting.
I need to book a flight to Arizona. I need to talk to Kendall about 4-corners. Pack for the family vacation. I wonder if we can visit the University of Colorado....what if my PhD program goes under like Kendall's did. I really want to move. But, I want to finish first. Gah, I need to talk to Dr. M.
I need to read that book Rhonda recommended to me. This syllabus isn't going to write itself. I have time...it's only May!
Top 10% banquet and 8th grade day are coming up. Ugh, I hate that I didn't enter all those grades on Friday...my desk is a mess. At least my copies are made. I need to finish reading The Outsiders. The kids are catching up to me. I have that meeting with Rhonda on Monday...wonder what we'll talk about. I need to think through this before tomorrow morning.
Is it really Sunday? I need to buy groceries. Did I pay my bills? Yes, I think. I hope. Ugh...
I should go back to Muldoon's today. I need to finish reading some articles and matrix the ones I already read. Chyllis is awesome to send me that template. She has it together...I want to be more like her. I'm too scatterbrained.
Wonder how lunch went for Grandma, Melody and Dad? I'll call them all later. I need to go Mother's Day shopping. Can I go to the Rock next Sunday? I'll check the calendar. Need to go to Lowe's and get dad that tool he wanted. Wonder if I have the money? I'll make it work.
Robyn called this morning. Phone tag. We need to talk...wedding stuff. She has good insights into my scatterbrainedness...she'll tell me what to do. I hope she picks grey dresses...or purple. I like both. I hope this walking makes my butt get smaller...and my arms. I should do some pushups too. Or play tennis. I need to go to San Antonio soon. I wonder when I can go in the summer.
I'm thirsty....I'm hungry. How far have I walked? How long has it been? Should I head back home?
40 minutes later, I arrived back home. Jack was barking. I got some water and cereal and made my to-do list for the day, then consulted my calendar and penciled in a few tasks that have to be done this week. I know I joke all the time that I'm a procrastinator, and I am, but I'm a planner, too. It's really a gift to be able to do both successfully.
Anyway, as I was walking and thinking (you saw a small glimpse of how my brain works), I realized that for one of the first times in my life...I'm scared. I'm taking a huge risk by returning to school full time. My bestie's PhD program fell out from under her and I worry every day that mine will do the same. What happens if it falters before I graduate? Where will all that work go? This really has been eating away at my conscious this weekend. I'm going to have to do something to put my mind at ease.
I'm also beyond happy that my two best friends are getting married, but at the same time, I'm a bit freaked out. Why? I don't have a clue. I'm all for marriage and my parents have been blissfully, happily married for 35 years...I just have a fear of it. Maybe that's because I've never been close to marriage or because mass media portrays it in such a negative light...I don't know. I need to get over this.
Finally, as I've mentioned before, I feel like everyone around me is moving forward and I'm staying stagnant. Now, I know this is absolutely ridiculous. I'm doing a lot with my life and loving every bit of it. But, 6 years after graduating high school, I'm in the same town, still in school, still trying to work to make ends meet, still single, still dreaming of moving away. Granted, a PhD is a pretty good tether...but...I can't help feeling the way I do.
The long and short of this post is that today I realized I have a lot of anxiety buzzing around me. This is not something new or different, but is how things have been for a very long time. I just don't know how to ease my mind. Maybe completing my daily checklist will help....
To clear my head, I decided to go for a walk. I've been talking quite a few walks lately (thanks to the inspiration of a dear friend). I have to get in better shape for two weddings in six months...I've got work to do but I hate working out. Walking is tolerable and really gives me a chance to clear my head. I don't take my phone or music...just me and the great outdoors. When I was younger, I used to take long walks around my family's property nearly every day and loved it. I miss that about the country. It's hard to find good places to walk that really put me at ease here in town.
Anyway, while I'm walking, my mind goes into overdrive. It's the only time I do just one thing...no distractions, no multitasking, just me. My thoughts are scatterbrained and all over the place.
I wonder if Jack is barking.
iPads...
how would I write this IRB proposal for a study on attendance? Oh, I need to review those articles first...write a lit review. I'll do that this week after work.
coffee
wonder if I can find that cute bag I've been wanting.
I need to book a flight to Arizona. I need to talk to Kendall about 4-corners. Pack for the family vacation. I wonder if we can visit the University of Colorado....what if my PhD program goes under like Kendall's did. I really want to move. But, I want to finish first. Gah, I need to talk to Dr. M.
I need to read that book Rhonda recommended to me. This syllabus isn't going to write itself. I have time...it's only May!
Top 10% banquet and 8th grade day are coming up. Ugh, I hate that I didn't enter all those grades on Friday...my desk is a mess. At least my copies are made. I need to finish reading The Outsiders. The kids are catching up to me. I have that meeting with Rhonda on Monday...wonder what we'll talk about. I need to think through this before tomorrow morning.
Is it really Sunday? I need to buy groceries. Did I pay my bills? Yes, I think. I hope. Ugh...
I should go back to Muldoon's today. I need to finish reading some articles and matrix the ones I already read. Chyllis is awesome to send me that template. She has it together...I want to be more like her. I'm too scatterbrained.
Wonder how lunch went for Grandma, Melody and Dad? I'll call them all later. I need to go Mother's Day shopping. Can I go to the Rock next Sunday? I'll check the calendar. Need to go to Lowe's and get dad that tool he wanted. Wonder if I have the money? I'll make it work.
Robyn called this morning. Phone tag. We need to talk...wedding stuff. She has good insights into my scatterbrainedness...she'll tell me what to do. I hope she picks grey dresses...or purple. I like both. I hope this walking makes my butt get smaller...and my arms. I should do some pushups too. Or play tennis. I need to go to San Antonio soon. I wonder when I can go in the summer.
I'm thirsty....I'm hungry. How far have I walked? How long has it been? Should I head back home?
40 minutes later, I arrived back home. Jack was barking. I got some water and cereal and made my to-do list for the day, then consulted my calendar and penciled in a few tasks that have to be done this week. I know I joke all the time that I'm a procrastinator, and I am, but I'm a planner, too. It's really a gift to be able to do both successfully.
Anyway, as I was walking and thinking (you saw a small glimpse of how my brain works), I realized that for one of the first times in my life...I'm scared. I'm taking a huge risk by returning to school full time. My bestie's PhD program fell out from under her and I worry every day that mine will do the same. What happens if it falters before I graduate? Where will all that work go? This really has been eating away at my conscious this weekend. I'm going to have to do something to put my mind at ease.
I'm also beyond happy that my two best friends are getting married, but at the same time, I'm a bit freaked out. Why? I don't have a clue. I'm all for marriage and my parents have been blissfully, happily married for 35 years...I just have a fear of it. Maybe that's because I've never been close to marriage or because mass media portrays it in such a negative light...I don't know. I need to get over this.
Finally, as I've mentioned before, I feel like everyone around me is moving forward and I'm staying stagnant. Now, I know this is absolutely ridiculous. I'm doing a lot with my life and loving every bit of it. But, 6 years after graduating high school, I'm in the same town, still in school, still trying to work to make ends meet, still single, still dreaming of moving away. Granted, a PhD is a pretty good tether...but...I can't help feeling the way I do.
The long and short of this post is that today I realized I have a lot of anxiety buzzing around me. This is not something new or different, but is how things have been for a very long time. I just don't know how to ease my mind. Maybe completing my daily checklist will help....
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